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All In The Family

memoirs of a massuer headerDepression, feeling alone, constant fatigue, poor sleep, and heaviness within our heart and soul is a human state that everyone goes through. The best counter to this type of malaise is pulling yourself up by the shoestrings and to get moving. Drinking alcohol and poor diet selections only further the descent into a black hole. Beyond the physical change the best remedy can be socializing. Although we are far removed from primates (or are we?) an alone primate is a sick or troubled one. Humans need to be among others, we have forever been tribal animals that flourish when we feel important and are part of a whole. In my younger years it never occurred to me that this aspect of day to day life was so important. Granted, I rarely lived in one location for more than a year or two, but only until I moved to Manuel Antonio was I able to feel the love of so many. Even before social media (which is a false family) the pure act of running into people in Quepos, at the gym, or on the beach was usually delightful. Holing up in an apartment or home benefits nobody. As we lose ourselves to Netflix, the comfort of over-eating, and then despair, it is important to remember help is always available. The simple act of calling a friend can heal. We must remind ourselves that when we are at our lowest, we must reach out and get involved with others to increase our energy.

I am blessed to have an extremely strong family, friend, and personal support group. I realize through what I see with my own eyes that humans are very needy, those needs change with years, but it is our personal responsibility to satisfy those needs as much as eating, sleeping, and tending to our basic life functions. There are many ways to associate with a “tribe”, or any aggregate of people who associate with a community of customs and traditions. We have our “ex-pats”, the down home gringos that picked up and left their native country in search of something more. There is an “animal tribe” that bases their lives largely on walking, feeding, and comforting their dogs or cats because that is what fulfills them. There are the “surfers” who bond on their ocean time and the thrill of riding a wave. We have our gypsies and wanderers who gravitate together by the bond of the road and the uncertainty of tomorrow. The artists and dreamers are a refreshing tribe who live in their own minds eyes, often inspiring others to see beauty and relevance to creating art. We have our religious folk, who bond on what happens after life on this plane. Athletes connect on pushing themselves physically, druggies and alcoholics connect on disconnection, and new arrivals to Manuel Antonio connect with one another through the deciphering of living in a new culture. No matter who you are or what you are becoming I am here to say it is a necessity to bond with other humans. Please seek help if you are feeling despondent and alone, even that can connect you to individuals that are very much like you.

We cannot hold hands with everyone in the community yet we can respect and understand that we are humans with very similar needs. I feel it is important to see the world and our personalities as unique and intriguing as opposed to rejecting differences and labeling them wrong as the first step to increasing our own happiness. With the proper baseline of health we allow ourselves to open to the magic of other levels of being. As a twenty year body worker trust me when I say we can read the energy of others around us. It can be quite easy once you get started. Having the desire to be better personally, for the good of your greater tribe is a valiant pursuit. We all need to be carried along at some point but we do not have to always be reliant on things from the past. It is up to us to wipe our history slates clean, change our habits to empower ourselves, and then to become a leader in our chosen tribe, or to find a new one that suits us currently. The lone wolf is often an angry cynical one, our very DNA has always been in accordance to the greater good of our people, not our selfish wishes. What a wonderful moment right now is…get up and stretch and breathe new life into ourselves. Our tribe is waiting.

(Todd Pequeen can be reached at 8830-7727 or at tpequeen@yahoo.com. He is the first male masseur in Manuel Antonio and has been providing deep, therapeutic massages here in MA since 2000. His free time is spent reading, writing, traveling, surfing, and hanging with his tribe of freaky friends.)


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