These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19
The truth is much harder to find than fiction. Don’t be afraid to spread damn dirty lies. This month, your seasonal destiny feels like the lowest berry on the mistletoe.
RULING GEMSTONE: GARNET
AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18
Half of what you think you are good at is actually a complete fluke. This month might see the end of your futile efforts to get good at something.
RULING GEMSTONE: AMETHYST
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on January 5th, 2012
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21
Don’t forget your towel today. I usually find I’m less likely to forget things if I wrap them around my head. Everyone has their own mnemonic tricks though.
RULING GEMSTONE: TURQUOISE
CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19
You will get one of those pre mixed salads in a new high tech bag that “breathes”. Or in this case, wheezes.
RULING GEMSTONE: GARNET
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on December 5th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
SCORPIO - October 23-November 21
A hive of naked mole rats will move in with you today. You will find that they are relatively tidy creatures, but that its a trifle difficult to explain their presence to your friends.
RULING GEMSTONE: TOPAZ
SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21
Be playful at heart and you will reap the reward of having more friends under the age of 10. Beware of tour guides walking backwards in their guide commentary’s.
RULING GEMSTONE: TURQUOISE
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on November 4th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
VIRGO – August 23-September 22
Jake Gyllenhall continues to be your lucky Hollywood megastar this month, especially when you are trekking through the cold glacial climes and you need to take off your top to walk through freezing water and there is no TV crew to film it all. Machismo like that is rare! And there is no money to be made out of it!
RULING GEMSTONE: SAPPHIRE
LIBRA - September 23-October 22
Beware of small difficult to control mouth vomits around 1pm on the 18th of this month. Your destiny is like the most difficult last 2 degrees of a situp. Also, Neptune has left you a message somewhere on the History channel on the 7th.
RULING GEMSTONE: OPAL
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on September 13th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
LEO - July 23- August 22
Blues harmonica playing has never been better starred than this month, especially in impromptu nights spent in police cells. Embrace “flowery” people with open arms.
RULING GEMSTONE: PERIDOT, JADE
VIRGO – August 23-September 22
Beachwear is critically starred this month with a 40% chance of wardrobe malfunction when entering or getting out of swimming pools or the ocean until sunrise on the 26th.
RULING GEMSTONE: SAPPHIRE
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on August 3rd, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
CANCER -June 22-July 22
Today assa a joke, you willa make fun ofa how somebody talk. You willa get beata up. You will also find that if you deliberately mispronounce “sir” as “sair”, you can answer a lot of questions with either “yes air”, or “nose hair”.
RULING GEMSTOME: RUBY
LEO - July 23- August 22
Homelessness is a very poor way to begin the year, so ensure money is not an issue for you. Gift horses always happen to those who least expect it. The moral of this horoscope its: expect a gift horse. The sounds of fairies in your head are brought on by the alcohol. It may be time to stop drinking this week.
RULING GEMSTONE: PERIDOT, JADE
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on July 4th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
GEMINI - May 21-June 21
Walk without shoes for a day and you will soon understand the nature of the soul! Get it? People will start to resent your annoying habit of repeating the last funny thing said and then laughing.
RULING GEMSTONE: ALEXANDRITE
CANCER -June 22-July 22
Although it may be true that you are being hunted down by pirates, you may wish to avoid using the name “Long Dong Silver”. Brown is your unlucky color this month. Avoid it where possible.
RULING GEMSTOME: RUBY
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on June 4th, 2011
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The Quepos Bridge Club plays at 12 noon every Tuesday at Dos Locos Restaurant.
visitors since December 2009
