These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
GEMINI - May 21-June 21
Walk without shoes for a day and you will soon understand the nature of the soul! Get it? People will start to resent your annoying habit of repeating the last funny thing said and then laughing.
RULING GEMSTONE: ALEXANDRITE
CANCER -June 22-July 22
Although it may be true that you are being hunted down by pirates, you may wish to avoid using the name “Long Dong Silver”. Brown is your unlucky color this month. Avoid it where possible.
RULING GEMSTOME: RUBY
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on June 4th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
TAURUS - April 20-May 20
As accurate as the weather report might be, you must be careful to avoid the 3011 bus. Danger, excitement, thrills. Even spills. These are all buzz words which may catch your attention this week, possibly in the form of a horoscope. Having reached a personal goal, the future looks rosier for you!
RULING GEMSTONE: EMERALD
GEMINI - May 21-June 21
Animals with big eyes should be avoided as they invariably have pointy claws which could, in the worst cases, grab you by the shoulder and carry you screaming helplessly in the air on the 7th of the month.
RULING GEMSTONE: ALEXANDRITE
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on May 4th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
ARIES - March 21-April 19
7. For no reason at all, I’m going to throw the number 7 at you. SEVEN. Take everything you’ve got and run like the wind! Chew the cud with some friends this month, their inane chatter may amuse you.
RULING GEMSTONE: DIAMOND
TAURUS - April 20-May 20
Your selfish ways will not improve this month as you win a sizeable jackpot in the lottery. Walking to work in a clown costume can help you in your search for humility. It may seem unrelated to your month so far, but remember, the world loves a bastard!
RULING GEMSTONE: EMERALD
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on April 4th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
PISCES - February 19-March 20
Like your life, peanuts can be dried, roasted, blanched and put inside little potato coatings. Just like your life. You will be plagued by happy people, but don’t be swayed by them, stay miserable.
RULING GEMSTONE: AQUAMARINE
ARIES - March 21-April 19
This month is for lovers everywhere. Find positives wherever you are and accentuate them. Do not dwell on the negatives and you will have happiness. It’s really quite simple isn’t it? You get better looking every day. I bet you can’t wait for tomorrow!
RULING GEMSTONE: DIAMOND
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on March 2nd, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18
Don’t trust little birdies…they are renounced liars. Protesting is about to become important to you, as is writing witty slogans on placards something you are very good at if you can get the right pens.
RULING GEMSTONE: AMETHYST
PISCES - February 19-March 20
2011 offers the prospects of at least 4 once in a lifetime opportunities. Be ready. Beware of arguments while playing Monopoly this month, especially if you have just rolled a 6. And always choose the dog as your monopoly marker.
RULING GEMSTONE: AQUAMARINE
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on February 7th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19
What are you looking for here for? You should be on a spaceship sticking a fish in your ear. It’s not like you didn’t get enough hints. If you are vaporized, it’s your owned damn fault, I’d say.
RULING GEMSTONE: GARNET
AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18
It’s a good idea to take up a new hobby, if you want to make yourself a more interesting person at parties. In your case, I recommend welding. This is also a good month to defy convention. Be yourself. Buy a fedora, for example, and wear it indoors.
RULING GEMSTONE: AMETHYST
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on January 5th, 2011
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.
SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21
Happy Birthday Mom! And everyone else who celebrates being half man/woman and half horse. At the same moment you will be reading this, someone else will be thinking of you and smiling. You have that affect on people sunshine! You are also the most spiritual of the zodiac, so light some white candles this month and wish for all your dreams!
RULING GEMSTONE: TURQUOISE
LUCKY SIGN: Potholes in the road
CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19
This month is itchy nose month. Just be glad you don’t have to wear a spacesuit. It is also a good time to tell your friend to quit wearing that ridiculous goatee. Why not recommend a sheepee instead?
RULING GEMSTONE: GARNET
LUCKY SIGN: 7 leaf clovers
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Filed under: Cosmic Confetti, Horoscopes on December 4th, 2010
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The Quepos Bridge Club plays at 12 noon every Tuesday at Dos Locos Restaurant.
visitors since December 2009
