These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.

CAPRICORN – December 22-January 19

As we all ring in the New Year together, you can also celebrate another year of growing older! Lucky You! 2010 is set to be your year to shine, a “come back” you might say. Forget about your New Year’s resolutions…I think the Mayans might be onto something, and if so, we only have 2 good years left…so go on…smoke your laughin lettuce, eat till it hurts, and have a little rum in your egg nog!

CELEBRITY CAPRICORN: Daffy Duck

IDEAL JOB: Cactus Thorn Picker outer

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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.

SAGITTARIUS – November 22-December 21

Happy Birthday and Merry Xmas! You have a lot to celebrate this year. This month will be a strange one for you…the smell of Evergreen trees has an intense yet subtle effect on you. You may find yourself wanting to snuggle up to stuffed animals and drinking copious amounts of Egg Nog with the little marshmellows in them…this is fine in small quantities, but please remember to give back those stuffed animals when you are done squeezing them.

CELEBRITY SAGITTARIUS: Scarlett Johannsen

IDEAL JOB: Citrus fruit dryer

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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.

SCORPIO – October 23-November 21

Woop! Woop! It’s your Birthday! The phrase “having your cake and eating it too” has always troubled you…Today, cakes all have a “best before” date on them, so if you don’t eat your cake before the date-guess what? You lose your cake! My point? The planets are trying to tell you to make the most of time, and don’t listen to old sayings about cake from elderly people.

It’s also time to lower your standards regarding love, be aware that marrying your own pets is not allowed in most countries!

CELEBRITY SCORPIO: Theodore Roosevelt

IDEAL JOB: Royals for the throne
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These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.

VIRGO – August 23-September 22

This will be a VERY happy 2 months for you. After all, it is your birthday! And you know what they’ve been saying about that for a thousand of years, don’t you? “Happy Good! Me like Happy!” Cartwheels, hand stands, head stands, single arm press ups, sit ups, and sand castles the shape of gymnasiums are well starred. Take note, perhaps you could use a little exercise?

CELEBRITY VIRGO: Ione Skye

PROS: Smart /CONS: Perfectionist

LIBRA

“Geronimo!”, “Yahooooooo!” but NOT “Weee!” are the best ways to show extreme enjoyment such as when catching that big fish, canopying across the jungle, or jumping suddenly into water. This month your destiny has a lisp and is determined to say MISSISSIPPI…don’t worry about it…make yourself a coffee, sit down and read the internet, hell…its what you do everyday right? While you’re at it, make yourself a birthday cake, the chocolate and fattening kind cause no one celebrates birthdays with gusto after sweet 16!

CELEBRITY LIBRA: Shaun Cassidy

PROS: Harmonious /CONS: Procrastinator
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