In my past I have lived out of a van. My tent has also been my home next to a lazy Colorado River. In my future I hope to again have my bed, kitchen, and living area in five meters of space. For the bathroom I had to exit and walk to an old-school out house, a simple hole in the ground. Other than that, everything I needed was in that van, or set up, around my tent. Upon my return to Manuel Antonio my house, car, and possessions weighed me down. I don’t mean they bummed me out, I am thankful for the material things I have. Rather, I feel my time spent dealing with everything, organizing stuff, requires time away from something I grew fond of while on the road…boredom. Amazing boredom. I mean exactly that, boredom became a comfort and with luck, will be a friend for life after my final adventure. I am no monk but for my almost fifty-two years simplicity, peace, and contentment come to me easier through the release of material items, responsibilities, and “to-do” lists. Tedious repetition of nothing exciting can cause uncommonly vivacious results. Read More…
ICON—noun—a person or thing regarded as a representative symbol or as worthy of profound respect.
BARBA ROJA—restaurant—from 1975 until February of 2023.
The most fabled establishment of Manuel Antonio’s history was laid to rest last month. It is now only spoken of as “back in the day” and “remember when” banter in future drinking holes in our once sleepy beach town. I am still driving around with a souvenir of the legend. My hard-shelled extra tire covering on my Toyota, is somehow marked by the bright yellow paint from the railing of the handicapped entrance that leads from the parking lot! The memories that flood my mind are similar to that of most families—joy, friendship, love, sadness, loss, communion, betrayal, fights, dreams, and of course brotherhood. Like any celebrated drinking establishment—which the old television show Cheers, 1982 – 1993, made millions on—one could walk in and find a friend and a conversation almost instantly. They might forget your name, but they often remembered your face! Tourists never seemed to actually get the name right and locals in last ten years or so simply started calling it “Barbs,” everything is abbreviated these days. Regardless, Red Beard is no more, and I am very sure almost anyone reading this knows what is coming in its old and tired footprint. Sadness does not overwhelm me though, nor will the continued closing of iconic locations in this town. Everything and everyone have their beginnings and their ends, to mourn is a waste of time. Read More…
I was leaving a client’s room last week and she looked at me with an intensity that was alarming at first. She was on her second day of vacation and we had just finished an amazing ninety-minute session. “Is everyone as happy and nice as they seem in this country?” It made me laugh at first, then I actually got a bit tongue tied, then I replied, “Why yes, I think it is genuine!” With a quick nutshell description, I explained to her that in my 22 years of living here I believe it to be one of the happiest places on planet earth. I have read rogue articles on these topics when a major network or magazine does poles and takes statistics and come up with ratings on what makes a country or society happy blah blah blah. Then I thought about what makes my wife and I happy and tried to do the mental math. We are now well into 2023 and the world continues to spin and these are just a few of the reasons why I believe Costa Rica to be one of the happiest places on the earth. As a life-long traveler and having spent over 25 years living in various countries around the world here are my thoughts on the happy train… Read More…
Welcome back to the Quepolandia. What a breath of fresh air! In 22 years of writing for this publication I have never been edited or advised on a topic. My writing meanderings have been, some would say, all over the road. My original Health is Wealth column, followed by the current Memoirs scribbles in which you are now reading, have always been opinions, observations, and desires for our awesome jungle living, beach going, sunset watching community. However, we now live in a peculiar new world that has taken everyone by surprise and YES, we have finally reached 2023. My editor and chief Mr. Dave Bolger finally interjected in my writing process and had one simple direction for me to run with this month. “Please make it positive,” was all he said. Even last year our community, and a large part of the world, was wrung up with a collective noose which cinched our reality. It is time to reignite the best part of being human which is simply living in the gift of life which is today. LIFE is back to normal and it is time to GO OFF! Read More…
We are born into this world from a liquid state. Then gravity takes hold. Although our bodies are 75% water, the earths gravitational pull toward it’s center gives us our body mass. It is our friend, it keeps us grounded. From the moment of birth this pull is the weight of our body which also gives us a sense of direction. Anytime we move and position ourselves, we expose different parts of our body to gravity’s force. Our inner ear and ability to balance can also thank gravity to help in its functioning. Since the 1950’s however, gravity has been given a bad name. Modern “conveniences” started to deprive us from playing with our friend gravity. When was the last time you got up out of your seat to change the station on the television? When was the last time you walked to work or the store instead of driving? My point being, inactivity is not a human’s friend. Read More…
I love Manuel Antonio. I sincerely do, with all my heart. In the past year I have been asked, more than ever before, about the validity of the community and its future. There are plenty of doubts, questioning, and sometimes negativity that gets filtered through me while I am massaging my clients, socializing with tourists, and sharing the many wonders of Manuel Antonio. Having lived in this little beach town for over two decades, my opinion on local happenings and the status of the past glory years are always in question. Typically, the questions revolve around construction worries, crowds, traffic, safety, and particularly the loss of freedom that once were focal points of the community. Three examples of change are the complete elimination of our once famed “gay beach,” the lack of night life up on the hill, and the new ultra-rich retirees that seem to think Manuel Antonio is an upgrade from Florida and not the beach getaway party town it once was. All of these concerns are valid and are things which I had to go through a personal mental process to stand where I do today, with absolute positivity. Change is important, natural, and fundamental to the point that if Manuel Antonio wasn´t experiencing growing pains, I would be alarmed. Evolution is occurring and has transpired everywhere on planet earth due to population gain and the internet. There is no running from it anymore, for better or for worse, till death do we part.
Most nights I go to bed around 9:00 pm and wake up at 5:00 am. That said, my schedule varies widely due to being an independent massage therapist and completely submerged into the ebb and flow of tourism. I rarely have a set schedule and more often than not my work is on call, tourists want a massage now! It can be frustrating as well as rewarding but after 22 years of living in Manuel Antonio I understand how the game works. Sometimes my intention for the day is altered by a last minute call for work or something having precedent over my desires…meaning life. The little things that happen frequently when maintaining a functioning house, vehicle, marriage, or juggling the bureaucracy of living and surviving in a Costa Rican beach town. The old adage “Murphy’s Law” seems to occur more often than not and staying flexible mentally for me is a part time job. My reality is that my 50-year-old self can occupy hours upon hours in my garden, odd jobs around house, or even in front of the computer writing my peace as the world turns. Yes indeed my 30’s and 40’s have passed me by and most of my closest friends are raising families and doing their best post-covid selves, as aware of their isolation as I am. Mid-life crisis is indeed a reality however I do not feel like I am part of that. My wife and I are currently building a bed and breakfast and re-inventing our future but at times like these I whole heartedly feel like the world is much different now that the restrictions of Covid has passed us by, a recent nightmare of the early 2020’s. At times I feel isolated but I have always felt that to be my best self my process of living is about producing daily “pain and self-discipline” as a means to remain inspired. Then finding the peace and power to go about each day with positivity and faith no matter the outcome. It is a personal mental choice that goes beyond the standard of comfortable routine and repetition. I sometimes feel lonely and desperate even with a caring wife, fruitful occupation, and financial security. Although childless I doubt my feelings of emptiness and longing for an intangible something will change. I believe my feelings are simply a part of life for those who take the time to wipe the slate clean and look at exactly what one does on a day-to-day basis and how important these things will be on our death bed. What will the most important aspects of our lives be just hours before we pass on? A morbid thought perhaps but also an honest question for those of us that feel like these decades of living, of unraveling are coming to an end….and it could be tomorrow. What should we do more of or less of? I don’t know but I am curious.
I woke up early today. The clock said 4:40. I am not a religious man but when I am in a creative artistic mood my mind does funny things. I have never done this before and I wouldn’t label myself as a religious man but I opened my laptop and typed in bible quote 4:40. The screen read “LUKE 4:40 While the sun was setting, all those who had any who were sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and laying His hands on each one of them, He was healing them.” I found it prophetic as I make my living through massage and the passion I have for my career is a central focus of my life. My intention of this article was going to be about the two pieces of paper I had removed from my refrigerator the night before. One says “Enough is a Feast” the other “When all of your wishes are granted many of your dreams will be destroyed.” To add to my intellectual material for this article today is my wedding anniversary and I am finishing a week-long cleanse that I do several times a year. The cleanse is my way to drop a few pounds, treat my body and mind with care, and to sharpen my senses. I am lucky enough to have my writing desk in a location that I can see the sunrise when it cracks the horizon and shortly after the scarlet macaws, toucans, parrots, and a variety of other birds take stage. At 50 years old I am almost brought to tears today, this morning my life seems so enchantingly rich and my level of gratitude is bursting at the seams.
What’s better than a massage? A good night of sleep! This month’s article is dedicated to my wife and to those out there that suffer from insomnia or simply turning off those monkey minds…
Solid sleep habits, especially when accomplished night after night, is truly an essential elixir to a better life. Cognitive abilities, physical output, handling stress, enhanced internal biological functions can literally be streamlined on a daily basis to ease the tension of living with proper sleep. Science has come to the rescue once again to advance our wellbeing. Sometimes we forget that we are animals, we work on much of the same principles as our furry friends do. The sun and the moon have cycles as do our internal body rhythms. They are not meant to be played with and the ability to re-set can often be accomplished with just a little effort. My suggestion is to transform your habits for a week and you be the judge. Simple discipline and a desire to change is all that is needed.
I moved to Costa Rica the day after my nephew turned one year old in May of 2000. It seems as though some time has passed. He just came down for a three-week visit, is now a graduate of Florida State University, and will be twenty-three in May. I could not help to compare today’s current state of affairs with what was going on just two decades ago. The obvious and most considerable difference is internet and cell phones—the biggest game changer of my lifetime and maybe of modern humanity. Electricity, airplanes, cars, petroleum, the list goes on, however I do not think anything controls the next generations more than their cell phones. To be born with one almost in your hand is a permanent transformation. The simple life of a surfer even changed the day that one was able to know when the next “swell” or push of the ocean would occur. Before internet we would have to go down to the beach and check for ourselves—it was like a perfect Christmas morning sometimes when the Gods gifted us beautiful flawless waves. Now a days a two-week window can be analyzed, plane tickets bought, and a virtual guarantee of weather and surf reports being spot on. The youth of today certainly know everything—as did I as a twenty-something however the amount of vast information that they can research with the touch of a finger is mind boggling. Seemingly everything the younger generations do should be easier, however I noticed some chinks in his armor. The inability to cut an onion being one of his many home economic skills that were lacking. The ability to hang wet clothing on our clothesline (no dryer for 21 years!) but the lack of patience to use clothes pins and to spread out the clothing to dry more efficiently was curious to me. Lastly, the desire to go walk the streets, meet people, the curiosity over life and travel and excitement for each and every day seemed to be lacking after our surfing was over—perhaps that phone can do those things and I am missing something?
I have been writing since I can remember. I was first published in second grade for a poem I wrote about a cat named Scat, that I didn’t even own nor did it exist. My Buffalo, N.Y. family never had pets, nor am I big fan of them today as I like to travel regularly and to be free of responsibilities. Truth be told I have owned an outdoor cat since I moved here in 2000. The original one died and then one short term renter of my house took the liberty of adopting a kitten which she left behind. So be it. Like animals, writers seem to come and go. I admire a man by the name of Matt Cassidy who used to write an article titled Crazy From The Heat for this very periodical. He used to bake the finest of cookies and bread in a time not so long ago when we did not have proper grocery stores here in MA. In 2022 his article would get censored, it used to go “too far”, and was wonderfully cringe worthy and dynamic, like the author himself. Cancel culture was still in the womb being cultivated. He can still be found in the marina at 2Costa Rica Real Estate if anyone is looking. His article would pick out classic tourist behavior and in my mind define sociology at its finest. A mentor to me. I believe it is still ok to say anything you want and I promise to not be offended. Then you must listen to my opinion and not be offended. Fair enough, yes? Stop reading now, you have been warned.
It is August of 2000 and after traveling up and down the coasts of Costa Rica for two months my destiny brought me to Quepos. I had been in Jaco and paid a taxi driver/friend $20 to drop me off on the beach here in Manuel Antonio. I remember giving someone $5 for an obscure location to set my tent up and had usage of a revolting shower and a toilet. I didn’t care. I was 28 and had been on the road for over 2 months and somehow, I had arranged a “job interview” with the owner of Hotel California, Robbie Felix (who still lives here today). My funds were dwindling as I started my journey with $3,000 and I had no ticket home. My mindset had always been to go big, to absorb the stress and pressures and only to succeed. Having lived in South Korea as well as Japan for a year each, and months of vacation travels in Africa and Bali, I was street smart and an experienced back packer. My main focus was to become a surfer, I had never focused on saving money in my life other than for travel, isn’t it how it should be in your 20s? Interesting now that I have much more security, I can see how making the most out of each and every day was all I had…and all I needed. It fueled my passion for who I wanted to become. I needed to figure out a way to earn money, unravel my dream, and to prove to the community that I was here to stay. Carpe Diem goes a long way when one is young…. however, food, rent, and how to live the permanent vacation that I had envisioned was a long, long way from attainment.
I tell my nieces and nephews to not be part of the herd. I suggest that they live their lives in a conscious manner recognizing what their peers are doing then choosing to do the opposite. I believe that creating an exceptional and rewarding life often means finding unique ways to navigate time and decisions to obtain one’s dream. I find it curious that parents commonly slip from telling their kids to live their dreams yet when they become young adults the advice is to seek a practical way of living. Get a job, pay the bills, buy a house, get married and have kids, we have all heard it before…it’s an expired way of thinking. I recently read a Gallup report showing that 70% of Americans polled either hate their job or are “disengaged” from their work, and even perks don’t work if they’re unhappy with management. To wake up unmotivated is a clear sign that something is missing. If my college-aged nieces and nephews do what everyone around them do they most likely will not become exceptional. Included in this is their physical, mental, spiritual, and financial levels of happiness. It will undoubtedly be much easier to not take chances and to quell big dreams with rationality and practicality. I think a line from one of my favorite artists Bob Marley says it perfectly. “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery—none but ourselves can free our minds.”
I expand my possibilities by cultivating the opposite in myself. When I was young, I did not have much choice. As an adult I do, so I use my free will to be the antagonist from within. I understand that no matter how correct I think my decisions are, or how black and white a situation seems, there are always shades of grey or layers of circumstance that I may be unaware of. This requires humility beyond the four decades of lessons I have learned. A set frame of mind can be my own worst enemy. Cultivating the opposite moves my life towards the pursuit of liberation. Freedom from all lesser pursuits (that often revolve around money, food, sex, and power) can be greatly empowering. The value of seeking change and enlightenment enriches my days beyond what I have previously dreamed.
Has anyone recently reminded you that life is supposed to be lived passionately and led by the heart? Too much practical thinking and uninspired months then years will make even the best of us sink into the depths of depression, thoughtless routine, and boredom. I was reminded of this by the entire world’s new friend Mr. Covid. No need to rehash what happened in 2020 but that year has come and gone and now it is time to change, to become excited again. Finances is not what I am talking about this month, obviously some of us will continue to live a bit more frugally during these changing realities. With more time on our hands, we must invest in ourselves and walk our own mind through the maze of our past. Fear, resentment, and anger are all emotions that will age us and tear us up internally on more than just a mental level. What in your past keeps you from your future? Is there anything you can start doing today that will lead to more happiness tomorrow? Life needs a purpose and today’s can be as simple as reaffirming old beliefs, picking up a new book, or forcing oneself to do twenty minutes of yoga, four sets of pushups, or anything new. No need to change the world, just ourselves. Lord knows the questions we ask ourselves today are the ones which will become our foundation tomorrow.
THE JOY OF BOREDOM – Todd Pequeen