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Cosmic Confetti’s Horoscopes – June 2010

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously.


geminiGEMINI – May 21-June 21

Another birthday has arrived…Large tongued Gemini dogs will come your way in overly affectionate encounters, particularly after early supper, bowl-of-water-lick, or mid evening walkies until well into July. Embrace these moments, as we all know that love comes in many different forms and we should take what we can get!

BEST LOVE TIME: ALL OF JUNE

COMPATIBILITY: SCORPIOS OR LIBRAS


cancer

CANCER -June 22-July 22

Today you will stumble across conclusive proof that cilantro is actually the main ingredient in soaps and detergents, and that its culinary use started at a joke—it’s just that most people are too shy to admit that they’d rather spray Lysol on their burrito than put cilantro on it!

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 10TH EARLY AM

COMPATIBILITY: LEO


leoLEO – July 23- August 22

Try being entirely honest for a week. That’s a fine way to develop a clear conscience. Personally I prefer my method though—a poor memory!

Performing a magic card trick this month may have people looking at you in a new magical light!

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 7TH 4PM

COMPATIBILITY: TAURUS


virgoVIRGO – August 23-September 22

Sunflower, peanut, but not walnut oils are your preferred frying oils this month, especially when flipping the contents in the pan is required in any Jamie Oliver cooking performance. Virgo dealers…you know who you are…should hide their stash securely on the 18th!

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 1ST 3AM

COMPATIBILITY: PISCES


libraLIBRA – September 23-October 22

Moments of pure vitriol, the red anger they told you about in Anger Management courses the judge sent you on are set to pepper this month with moments of counting slowly from 1 to 10. Your destiny is like a small fish ambitiously aiming to move up the food chain in the next 5 years.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 30TH ALL DAY

COMPATIBILITY: GEMINI


scorpioSCORPIO – October 23-November 21

What you need right now is a period of blind faith and what looks like cherries, as Saturn and Neptune become aligned in your chart it is becoming increasingly difficult to read…

Seminal moments are superbly starred this month in any red-lit situations, especially dawns and when tambourines are playing!

BEST LOVE TIME: 1 HOUR AT DUSK

COMPATIBILITY: GEMINI OR ARIES


sagittariusSAGITTARIUS – November 22-December 21

Yawns, loud sighs and slurping your tongue with your lips and saying “num num” is pretty much the extent of this month for you. You will be tempted to go against ages old advice and teach an old dog a new trick. Saturn will let you know if you are successful or not.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 3RD WHEN THE GALLO CROWS

COMPATIBILITY: VIRGO


capricorn

CAPRICORN – December 22-January 19

An ongoing gang feud, neighbor from hell argument or an encounter with a shelf stacker in the supermarket, indicates that your need for a period of quiet reflection is needed again once the storm has passed. Cushions, a hot drink, and a really stupidly loyal pet will probably do the trick.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 14TH AFTER BREAKFAST

COMPATIBILITY: CANCER


aquariusAQUARIUS – January 20-February 18

Truffles, trifles, and Trans fatty acids continue to be highly favored, especially in high class dress up to the 9’s parties, luncheons, or power suppers.

“I intend to”, “If at all possible”, and “I’ll pencil it in my diary” are your favored weasel phrases this month.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 21ST AT SUNSET

COMPATIBILITY: LIBRA


piscesPISCES – February 19-March 20

Now may be the time to learn how to do one of those backwards somersaults from a standing on your feet to a standing on your feet position. Sounds unlike you? That’s because Jupiter has been stopping you even thinking about trying this cool exercise…until now that is!

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 4TH AFTER CHURCH

COMPATIBILITY: AQUARIUS


ariesARIES – March 21-April 19

Double kisses on the cheek greetings, like Russians do, are not well starred this month. Use your discretion, and hope Saturn has your back in any subsequent shootouts! Fruits of all shapes, colors and sizes are favorable.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 17TH 4, 5, 6, PM

COMPATIBILITY: SCORPIO


taurusTAURUS – April 20-May 20

Sometimes it may seem like you are taking two steps backwards for each step forward. If you are actually taking 2 steps back for every step forward then it might be a good idea to walk to where you want to go to backwards-you will get there faster.

BEST LOVE TIME: JUNE 9TH AFTER WORK

COMPATIBILITY: CAPRICORN OR LEO


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