by Matt Casseday

(This is a reprint of one of Matt’s personal favorites courtesy of ill timed ICE work to improve our lives during deadline)

I am currently doing research for a book I hope to publish called “Myths and Legends of Costa Rica”.  The following is an excerpt:

The Honest Alcalde -  There was once an Alcalde (Mayor) who became suspicious that many of his associates and underlings seemed to be living way beyond what their salaries could provide.  His own secret investigation revealed massive municipal fraud and diversion of funds intended to benefit all the citizens of his town.  The outraged Alcalde immediately sacked the corrupt municipal employees and pressed criminal charges.  The town later became famous throughout Costa Rica for its’ clean, paved, well-lit thoroughfares, excellent municipal service and overall beauty.

The Ethical Gringo Investor – A successful Gringo businessman retired early and came to Costa Rica, living comfortably off of the interest from various investments.  One day, another retired Gringo told him about a group of Costa Ricans known as “The Family”. Amazing, this group paid investors almost 50% annually.  Soon the Gringo businessman met with a “Family” rep to discuss the possibilities of investing with them.  However, certain things about the “Family” troubled him.  None had any training or education in the world of economics. They were extremely secretive about how they could pay such high returns. Something stunk afoot. The Gringo businessman returned to his village and decided it was better to earn less from his legitimate investments than to reap a small fortune on a possibly unethical enterprise.

“Rico Suave” with a Conscience – A handsome young Tico, blessed with seductive eyes, a bedazzling smile, and great dancing ability, bedded Gringas by the score. He lived for each new conquest and prided himself on never dating the same Gringa for more than a fortnight.  One year, a young Gringa returned with a six month old baby in her arms.  While he barely remembered the Gringa, he had to acknowledge the baby was his. And from that moment, the handsome young Tico abandoned the carefree nightlife, began working two jobs and swore that every colon need for the upbringing of the baby would come out of his pocket.

The Saintly Gringo Tourist – A middle-aged Gringo came to Costa Rica with a group of male friends for a week of R&R. The first night they went to a famous bar in downtown San Jose. Immediately, the Gringo found himself surrounded by beautiful young women, offering him their bodies for a price. While his friends went off one by one with escorts, he could only think of his wife back home. Besides, these girls looked so young – how could they have fallen into this kind of trap?  Knowing they needed the money, the Gringo spent the rest of the evening passing out hundred dollar bills to all the working girls, asking only that the money be spent on their children and their mothers back home.

The Humble Monopoly – For reasons unknown, the Costa Rican constitution, written in the 1940’s, contained a clause that assured the telecommunications industry would always be a state-run monopoly. With the passage of time and advancement in technology, it became clear that the state was unable to keep up with the demands and expectations of new market forces. Cellular service was spotty, internet service erratic, and in outlying areas even a home telephone line was impossible to obtain.  Seeing this, the state run monopoly admitted its failure to satisfy the needs of the people and voluntarily rescinded the constitutional clause, inviting outside competition – and improved overnight the telecommunications service in Costa Rica.

The Generous Developer - A Gringo real-estate developer made a killing over the years selling high-end properties to other Gringos. But in the midst of his great prosperity, there was also much hardship. The nearby town where he shopped was much troubled by poverty and idleness. Eyeing the village from his mountaintop mansion, he decided it was time to give back to the area from which he had made so much. From that moment forward, profits he made from his business were donated to the town – earmarked for upgrading education, improving medical and providing job training for the idle poor of the area.

The Ecological Campesino – In rural Costa Rica there lived a farmer who was unhappy with the customs of his brethren. The earth he worked had its limits. The shortcuts commonly used were detrimental to the long-term survival of the soil. Therefore, he swore to never use pesticide, herbicides nor to practice any form of slash-and-burn agriculture. Never again would he cut down a tree unnecessarily, nor allow his livestock to overgraze the land. In these ways, future generations would be assured the continuance of rich, productive farmlands.

The Gringo Drug-Free Zone – A small beach town in Costa Rica over the years became a magnet for Gringos of all ages. Seeing this, an enterprising young man set up shop to sell illicit recreational drugs.  Outraged, the Gringo population banded together and informed the vendor that his wares were not needed, used, nor welcome in their town. And thus it came to pass that the salesman was forced to pack up his shop and go elsewhere.

Filed under: Crazy From the Heat, Matt Casseday on January 19th, 2010
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