One day last week, I had to pay visits to three different government offices. I spent a lot of the day seated, waiting and waiting for my number to be called. Each office was similar: A casher seated behind a plexiglas window; an armed guard seemingly ill-prepared should he – God help us all –  ever have to actually use his gun; a number of sober-faced Ticos behind desks; and a much larger number of patient citizens awaiting their numbers to be called. I had forgotten to bring something I had recently purchased to avoid long waits: My own roll of numbers just like the ones you pull off from the dispenser in order to receive attention. Mine were the real thing, courtesy of the ´´Take-A-Tab´´ company. The trick is to wait until they call a ´dead´ number, that is, a number no one responds to. Then quickly and surreptitiously leaf through your Take-A-Tabs until you get the number you need. Much time can be saved employing this method; all you need is your own personal roll of numbers, but I had forgotten mine.

In each office there was something about the surroundings—the solemnity, the sobriety, the reverential silence of all those waiting—that reminded me of church. Which is fitting. I have always been of the belief that Bureaucracy—and not Catholicism—should be considered the true official religion of Costa Rica. Every year more and more Costa Ricans leave the Catholic Church to become Evangelical or Pentecostal Christians or just abandon religion altogether and all is accepted. The teachings of the Catholic Church are debated and argued and sometimes questioned and there is little public outcry. But woe to the politician or economist who expresses the opinion that the public sector could easily be downsized considerably, that too much money is already thrown that direction on salaries, pensions and sick leave—the Bureaucracy and its participants and defenders will take to the streets in outrage that anyone could dare utter such blasphemies! And woe to anyone who voices such opinions to a random gathering of Costa Ricans: Chances are you will be directing your opinion toward someone who is employed in the public sector or who has a close relative collecting the bureaucratic paycheck. Forget the old axiom about politics and religion; in Costa Rica, if you want to stay safely on the good side of Ticos, avoid any pointed discussion of the bureaucracy.

At the third and final office I visited, my number was called quickly. I took my seat but before I could get a word out, the young woman on the other side of the desk asked me to wait while she caught up on some unfinshed business. Before her was a stack of papers equal in thickness to the Greater Los Angeles telephone book. In her right hand she wielded a stamper. Page by page she proceded, stamping each with a practiced precision. Although the stack was thick, she made great time—at one point I counted her doing 28 pages in 10 seconds. After only about 10 minutes, she finished her stamping. I started to speak but she held up her hand to indicate that she hadn´t yet finished. She put down her stamper and picked up one of those little gadgets used to cleanly remove staples. The papers had come in stapled sections; now, for whatever reason, she had to pluck each staple cleanly. This she did with great stealth and agility. Soon she had one unstapled stack before her. But before she could pass the papers on, she saw something on the top page that needed correcting. She produced a pen that, when squeezed, produced white correcting fluid. She whited something out, and then took the stack of papers to someone seated behind a partition. I had just witnessed the holy trinity of the bureaucrat—the stamper, the staple remover and the correction fluid pen—all put to use in a brief period of time, and I knew better than to show restlessness or impatience when she returned.

Every year, every adult living in Costa Rica sacrifices a few days or more in accumulated hours inside the offices of the Costa Rican Bureaucracy. It is not worth complaining about. It is simply the price one pays for living here. Consider those lost hours time spent worshiping at the altar of the True National Religion.

(Read the review by Jim Parisi of Matt’s book, Crazy From the Heat)

Most people don’t like bugs. The term brings up negative images of all sorts of undesirable things, both living and not. If there’s a bug in your computer program, some obscure little quirk is making your life miserable. “Don’t bug me!” means don’t annoy me. A bug can be a germ, vermin, flaw, wiretap, defect, fault, or problem. It can mean to pester or bother. My thesaurus lists only one synonym with a positive connotation, the word enthusiast. In Spanish, the word for bug, “bicho”, is often used to mean a very undesirable person.

It isn’t any mystery why people don’t like bugs?  They crawl on us, bite us, sting us, get into our clothes, our food, and even eat the wood in our homes.  They eat our crops our flowers our lawns and most anything we try to grow.  They are associated with all kinds of contagious diseases including many that are fatal.  It would appear that our dislike of them is clearly justified.  But have you ever thought of what would happen if all the bugs were to disappear from the face of the planet?  Well known biologist author E. O. Wilson, in his classic work, The Diversity of Life, answers that question:

“So important are insects and other land dwelling arthropods that if all were to disappear, humanity probably could not last more than a few months.  Most of the amphibians, reptiles, birds and mammals would crash to extinction about the same time.  Next would go the bulk of flowering plants and with them the physical structure of most forests and other terrestrial habitats of the world.  The land surface would literally rot.  …other complex forms of vegetation would die off, and with them all but a few remnants of the land vertebrates.  …The land would return to approximately its condition in early Paleozoic times, covered by mats of recumbent wind-pollinated vegetation, sprinkled with clumps of small trees and bushes here and there, largely devoid of animal life.”

Many people who live in North America and Europe are accustomed to a comparatively sterile, insect-free environment. This always brings to mind an image of my mother — who couldn’t stand a single insect in the same room with her — chasing a fly or a moth around the house with a spray can full of insecticide or a fly swatter. This happened rarely, as her house was tightly sealed against intruders. Living in Costa Rica, especially in the hot, humid lowlands, means learning to coexist with bugs. The climate requires open construction with good ventilation, a building style that is difficult to seal. In this type of breezy environment your fly swatter or insecticide sprays definitely have their limits. Some people resort to regular fumigation as a method of controlling bugs.

My friend Harry can tell you all about fumigation. “You know something Jack?” he queried. “When I think back on it all, the bugs never really bothered us that much. Sure, we had a few roaches and ants, and we had our share of mosquitoes. I mean, I never minded those big, round, hairy spiders that used to hang out in our shower. They seemed to be more scared of me than I of them. Mabel always got out the long-handled broom and knocked down those big golden tinted webs in the corners of the ceiling, but I kind of liked them there. Those long legged spiders never bothered me, and the webs caught lots of mosquitoes. We used to sleep with a mosquito net during the rainy season, but most nights they weren’t so bad. We always kept a bottle of insect repellent around, but didn’t use it much. One bottle would last me and Mabel for a whole rainy season.

“Sometimes a preying mantis would land on the mosquito net while I was reading in bed. I’ll tell you those things are amazing predators. They can catch and gobble up a lot of bugs in one night. Did you ever see those little frogs with suction cups on their toes? A bunch of them liked to hang out in our bathroom. They would sneak in close to the light and snatch mosquitoes with their long sticky tongues. And those little, dark-colored lizards with the red heads, what are they called?”

“Geckos,” I offered.

“Yeah, that’s it, geckos, they were everywhere. Now those were insect eating machines. They would eat anything they could catch.

“We had bats too. They roosted in the ceiling and made scratchy sounds, but every evening they made a couple of sweeps through the house and cleaned out all the bugs. Come to think of it, there was even a bird, some kind of tanager, that ate those black wasps with the nasty sting. Every fall when the birds migrated in from the north, one would go through the house and clean them all out, eat their eggs and destroy their nests. I never could figure out how it kept from getting stung.

“That was before we fumigated. I know what your thinking, Jack. You want to know why we fumigated if we weren’t bothered by insects, right?”

I nodded affirmatively.

Harry continued. “I mean, I don’t like spraying poison all over my house any more than the next guy. I mean look at all the people who die from cancer. There didn’t used to be so many people get cancer. Way back in the early 70s when I was like 30 years old, I didn’t know anyone who had died of cancer, not a single person. Well, let me tell you, the other night me and Mabel was trying to remember how many people we knew who had cancer or had died from it since then. And you know what? There was more than I could count on the fingers of both hands. I don’t know what you think, but I think it comes from all them chemicals in our environment. They get into our food and water and everything else.

“Anyway, let me tell you why we fumigated. It was because we found a termite trail on the wall outside the bedroom. We asked around to find out what to do about it, and everyone told us we had to fumigate. I thought maybe we could just spray the places where we found their trails, but the people we asked said ‘no’ it was best to fumigate the whole house. So we hired one of them companies to come out and fog the place. They told us that the stuff they used was organic and it wouldn’t hurt people, only insects. I didn’t believe it, but that’s what they said. In almost the same breath they said the stuff was so strong it would last three months. After that they fogged the house. We left all the doors and windows closed and stayed at a hotel that night. The next day we opened up the house and moved back in. I didn’t like the smell for a couple of days, but it gradually went away. We had to clean the whole house; sweep out all the dead spiders, moths, frogs, geckos, preying mantises and a couple of cockroaches. I mean the house was free of small animals. Nothing was left alive. We even found two dead bats. The termites were gone for the time being.

“It was amazing. Within a week the cockroaches were back. But not like before when we only had a few. After the fog-down, they were all over the place. I don’t know where they all came from, but they took over the entire house. And mosquitoes like you wouldn’t believe. We had to smear that oily repellent all over us in the evenings and sleep under the mosquito net every night. That was two months ago. It’s a little better now. A few geckos have come back and I saw a frog in the bathroom a couple of nights ago. Mabel found a spider web in the spare bedroom this morning. She said she left it there. I guess that guy from the fumigators was right about that stuff keeping things away for a long time. It sure keeps the insect eaters away. But it don’t do much for them cockroaches. And you know what else? We found another termite trail a couple of days ago.”

Harry went on to tell me that for the second termite invasion, he found an insecticide that was specific for termites, and sprayed it only on the places where their trails appeared. Then he went out and looked for termite nests in the trees around his house. He knocked down all the nests within 50 meters of the house, three of them. He figures that in another month or two populations of all the insect eaters will return to normal. Harry is especially anxious for the geckos to return. He found out that their favorite food is cockroaches.

Several books could be written about the natural enemies of household insect pests, but the geckos deserve special attention. These small lizards, as long as your index finger, don’t bother people, but feed on things that do. Two species, in particular, like to live in homes. Both the orange-headed gecko (Gonatodes albogularis) and the common house gecko (Hemidactylus frenatus,) frequent coastal regions like our own. The underside of a gecko’s feet are covered with thousands of hairs or bristles, each with a special bonding mechanism that works with positive and negative electrical charges. This trait enables the gecko to cling to walls and ceilings. When a rat, bat, bird, snake or cat tries to grab a gecko, the predator ends up with a piece of tail in its mouth. A stinky substance oozes from the tail stub, and the short-tailed gecko promptly scampers away. The lost appendage soon regenerates. At our house they can be found in every nook and cranny. Their favorite food is young cockroaches. We don’t keep any kind of pesticide in the house and seldom see a cockroach.

Large round pupils indicate the diurnal nature of some geckos, like the orange-headed one, whereas a nocturnal species like the common house gecko, has narrow vertical slits as pupils. Geckos’ eyelids don’t move. Fused to the eyelid is a fixed transparent shield that covers and protects the cornea. Rather than blinking, the gecko licks the shield in order to clean it. Whenever I try to imagine this, I remember a joke I once heard about a guy who licked his eyebrows, but you’ll have to turn to the joke page for that.

When you’re enjoying a pleasant evening at home and hear a friendly “chrit-chrit-chrit,” that kind of reminds you of a bird, but not quite; remember the gecko, the only semi-domestic reptile in the world. And you might take a moment to thank them for controlling the bug population in your home so that you can live in a healthy, chemical free environment in harmony with the natural world that surrounds you.

After nine years of work and almost 30,000 trees planted, the Naranjo River Biological Corridor project is coming to a new phase. This oldest project of the Titi Conservation Alliance is currently going through the process of formal acceptance in the system of biological corridors of Costa Rica and the Mezo-American Biological Corridor.

The main objective of the project is to create biological connectivity between the two most important wild areas of the Aguirre county – Manuel Antonio National Park and Cerro Nara Protected Area. This connectivity will allow movement of the wildlife, and especially isolated troups of Titi Monkeys. When small groups of animals are isolated, they are forced to interbreed and the small genetic pool leads to poor health and eventual extinction. It is particularly tragic when the species are rare or endemic (do not exist anywhere else in the world) such as titi monkeys (subspecies Saimiri Oerstedii Citrinellis).

The project consists of several components: growing of native plants in a tree nursery and their planting in the areas along the Rio Naranjo, environmental education of children of 8 local school, maintenance of four school nurseries where children participate in the full process of growing trees from seeds and planting them when they are ready, organizing ‘tree planting days’ for local businesses, children and visitors, and long term maintenance of planted trees. This work is done with full cooperation of about 20 owners of land around the Rio Naranjo.

Rio Naranjo Biological Corridor

There are between 20 and 28 species of trees used for this project, mostly native. They form part of the natural habitat of mono titis, but are also of great importance for the increase of biodiversity of the area, which is threatened by the African palm plantations and clearing of the land for agriculture.

For more information, or to learn how you or your business can become involved, please visit www.monotiti.org, or contact us at info@monotiti.org.

I originally began baking this bread as a holiday gift for the neighbors at Christmas until I sampled it for myself, and thought “This is really good!!” The other good thing in addition to its appealing flavor is you don’t need to wait for holidays to make it. You can treat yourself to it any time you like.

With its eggs, butter and milk, it freezes beautifully. Just slice it, and place in a large plastic freezer bag with a small sheet of waxed paper or food wrap between the slices. Freeze and pull out as many slices as you like and place in the toaster or microwave it for 30-45 seconds before you enjoy it. It’s good with or without butter or jam.  Its golden color with bits of orange peel in gives it lots of visual appeal, too.

Classified as a “quick bread” because it’s made with baking powder instead of yeast to leaven it, you don’t have to wait for it to rise before it goes into the oven. Every recipe I’ve seen for Orange Bread yields two loaves– possibly because the cooks decided it was too good to make just one loaf at a time. Just guessing, but so what! Use two 8″x 4″ pans.

The texture of the bread is more cake-like than bread, but what’s in its name? It tastes great no matter what you call it!

Orange Bread

2 ripe oranges
2 C. granulated sugar
2 C. milk
1 C. butter
4 eggs
2 tsp. salt
2 TBS. baking powder
4 C. all-purpose flour

For the glaze:
1 C. sugar
1 C. orange juice
Mix together and set aside.

Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour the two loaf pans.

To start, wash and zest the two oranges and reserve, then juice them and reserve the juice too. The two oranges you’ve just zested should yield about that amount, give or take.

In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar, mix in the eggs, milk and zested orange peel, blend in the flour, salt, and baking powder. Mix by hand or with an electric beater until blended and divide into the two baking pans.

Bake for 45 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool slightly in the pans and pour over the glaze. Let cool completely before removing from the pans and wrapping in plastic to keep fresh before using or freezing.

Next issue: Glorious pasta with capers and anchovies!

Constant Boshoff  – chiropractor, conservationist, coffee farmer and owner of Rafiki - was born in German East Africa, Tanganika.  His ancestors moved to South Africa when he was a child because of “political storms over Africa”, as he puts it.  Boshoff ’s father was a big game hunting outfitter. Equipped with luxury tents and a portable kitchen, his father and his party would pitch their camp under the trees at night.  He watched his business grow into a very popular tourist destination for high end clients. This is the background that shaped Constant Boshoff’s own trajectory in life.

Constant’s parents eventually moved to South Africa where they bought a 35,000 acre cattle ranch and battled droughts, ticks and predators.  Constant attended Pretoria University with the plan of becoming a doctor. When he was in the premedical program, he saw how people  with lower back problems were treated in hospitals. The only way of treating them, he says, was through using traction.  One of the patients, tired of hospital care, told Constant that he was going to a chiropractor in town.  Constant remembers saying,  “I hear those people are dangerous. But the guy left all crippled and came back swinging his cane.”  When Constant went to see for himself he was in for a surprise.   ”I saw that they didn’t look like witch doctors -  just clinicians,” he says, “and six months later I was in the United States, enrolled in Lincoln Chiropractic College.”

Constant completed his B.Sc.D.C.  in 1969 and went back to South Africa and set up a chiropractic clinic.  In 1970 he met his wife, Ralene, on a blind date and they were married the same year.  He returned with her to the United States for further studies, including research on acupuncture with two Oriental practitioners.  “I thought it was voodoo at first, but it turned out to be pretty good! I’ve been using this in conjunction with my practice ever since,” he says.  He and Ralene returned to South Africa where they stayed for 14 years, practicing chiropractic medicine and acupuncture and taking up farming as a hobby.  In 1987 they returned to the United States, this time ending up in Rapid City, South Dakota, where the Boshoffs built up a successful chiropractic business.

The Boshoff family first came to Costa Rica on vacation in 1991 and “fell in love with it”.  They engaged a Costa Rican driver, Roy Torres, to take them to see the country.  They returned to Costa Rica several times, always thinking of eventually purchasing a property here. Finally, in 2000, they got the opportunity they’d been waiting for in a phone call from Roy, telling them that a large property on the Savegre River was for sale. Constant says that his sons were in Costa Rica surfing at the time and he called them and asked them to go and look at the property. They called back to say that the road had been wiped out by the 1996 floods but, from the distance, they had seen a wonderful panorama of mountains and the river.  Constant remembers questioning them about the quality of the water in the area. “Dad, there’s water everywhere,” one of them replied.  But Constant insisted on being assured a good source of drinking water. “My grandpa always said, ‘With water and a brick you can’t go wrong,’” he smiles.

In 2001 the family began the laborious task of rebuilding the road leading to what they planned to be a unique, African style wildlife camp.  His three sons, Carlo, Nel and Loki, all worked on the project. “Without them, I could never have built the place,” he says.  He recalls having a six wheel drive military truck.  His sons would take it down to the river, hand load it, go back to the road, dump the rocks and watch them disappear into the clay. One evening, he says, they were sitting around the camp tired and aching from blisters, dreaming of having a Bobcat to make their work easier.  Ralene came to the rescue by selling her 3.5 carat diamond ring and buying the front end loader.  “She doesn’t have that ring anymore,” Boshoff says, “but the family got a lot of pleasure out of it.”   By 2002 the lodge was built and Constant imported his tents from South Africa and installed the bathrooms.  At the end of 2002, he says, they saw their first guests.

Those guests were in for a real treat.  I think of my recent stay at Rafiki – relaxing on the open porch of the thatched-roofed lodge overlooking a large expanse of grass, bordered by red haleconia bushes, forested mountains and a pond shared by brilliant white wood storks and colorful birds such as kingfishers, jacanas and blue-winged teal. I think of my friend zipping bravely down the steep water slide into the cold (chemical-free) pool, fed by a mountain stream. I think of splashing through the rapids on a Savegre rafting tour with a purple flower in my hair that the guide has given me.  I think of sipping one of Ralene’s special margaritas at dusk, followed by dinner at a gourmet table set with a white table cloth and a stunning centerpiece of native flowers grown on the property.  And finally, after gorging ourselves on spicy South African sausages from the barbeque, I think of settling in for the night in our comfortable tent lulled by an orchestra of cicadas and frogs.  The Boshoffs’ efforts have been rewarded recently by being chosen by a local television channel as one of the three most unique hotels in Costa Rica.

But what really excites Boshoff is a project to save the tapirs (precursors of the rhinoceros) that his family has started at Rafiki. He says that only forty years ago there were plenty of tapirs in the area but that now they are rarely seen. However, one tapir has been spotted around Rafiki and cameras have been installed to pick up tracks.  The idea is to start a breeding program on 100 acres of their land in semi-captivity and then release the offspring into the wild.  His dream is to see Rafiki as the beginning of a tapir corridor from which the animals could migrate all the way to the Osa.   As a model, he cites a project in South Africa where a biologist, Ian Parker, restored the white rhinoceros population through a similar breeding program. Started in 1954, the program became a huge success, he says.  Now the animals are no longer endangered.  ”It worked so well in Africa,” he argues, “so why shouldn’t it work in Costa Rica? If it succeeds it would be the first such program ever.”

Besides being good for the animals, Rafiki has been good for the people.  The Boshoffs employ 22 staff and, Constant says, the local people have started to associate tourism with their own wellbeing. This, in turn, helps the environment, and people no longer need to go into the forest and cut, hunt and gather. “To make it work for yourself you have to make it work for everyone. So you aren’t just saving the tapirs and the birds. You are helping people too.”

I ask Boshoff what he likes best about being a chiropractor.  ”Seeing people crawl in and walk out. It’s instant satisfaction!” he replies.  He says what he dislikes about it (in his earlier practice in the United States) is the bureaucracy of the health care system which tends to bog you down in legalities.  “In the old days of fee for service, it was much easier.  If you messed up you didn’t get paid.”

I want to know if there are times when he isn’t able to help a patient.  Occasionally, he replies, he needs to refer someone to another specialist – something that has been a challenge in Manuel Antonio.  He tells me about a young girl who came to him with pain in her side and lower back.  He examined her and didn’t know for sure what the problem was but he suspected an ectopic pregnancy or a tumor. Fortunately he referred the girl to a doctor visiting from Uruguay who rushed her to a hospital in San José and saved her life. Later that day, he says, a surgeon confirmed that it was an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured. “I went oh my God! I need contacts in San José.”  The most important thing in being a chiropractor is to know your limitations, he adds.

Asked who inspired him most in his life, he doesn’t hesitate. “My wife!  She is my best friend.  She is always quietly in the background keeping everything together.  She is an unbelievable person, and raised our kids with so much love and compassion.”  Ralene and Constant’s three sons have all inherited their parents’ hunger for adventure and the outdoors. Carlo, the eldest, and his wife Jannel spent four years working with the family to build Rafiki. They are now back in Montana running a fly fishing lodge on the Bighorn River. His middle son, Nel, lives in Panama with his wife, Vanessa, whom he met on a Savegre River tour.  Now he is cinematographer and Vanessa works for Animal Planet and Discovery channels.   Loki, the youngest, is married to Mauren, a Costa Rican.  Together they manage Rafiki with the support and guidance of Constant and Ralene.

I think how Constant was never satisfied with the medical bureaucracy – he always longed to get back to the bush. With the magical Rafiki,* saving the tapir and his skillful hands, he has been able to put it altogether and we are the beneficiaries. www.rafikisafari.com,   phone 506-2777-2250 or 2777-HELP

Writing humor is a cruel, nasty and thankless endeavor more times than not. Trust me because I have tried. Telling a humorous story in person to a group of people is completely different because the speaker can control the pace, the cadence, the intonation and eventually, the punch line. Writing these same words onto a page, handing it to a complete stranger, walking away and allowing the writing to convey humor on its own takes a leap of faith and a unique storytelling talent for the humorist to succeed. And Matt Casseday has pulled it off.

Sr. Casseday is a fifty-something ex-pat who has been calling Costa Rica home for more than two decades. He has been living in the Quepos area for about half that time and writing columns for Quepolandia, the local monthly magazine there, for more than five years. He recently culled through his collection of articles, selecting fifty-four of them to compile into a publication of his own, titled Crazy From the Heat. I think the operative word in that title is the first one, and I mean that in a good way. Matt takes a wry look at the trials and tribulations of living within another culture, specifically, being a “gringo in Ticolandia”, as he calls it. Sr. Casseday has lived and worked in a few different locales as well as owned a car and a business in Costa Rica, is married with a Costa Rican woman, and in short, has easily garnered enough material for his book with first-hand experience.

I’ve lived in Costa Rica for nearly eight years now and I could recognize myself and relate to many of the situations he describes in his stories. At times I found myself literally laughing out loud at some of Matt’s stories. His use of tongue-in-cheek and dry observational humor hooked me in more than once or twice. Certainly, not all the stories tickled my funny bone to the same degree. Humor is an individual taste. But I really enjoyed his piece titled “Gringos in Paradise” which describes four classic ex-pat caricatures. Despite the disclaimer, I swore I had really met each of these exaggerated personalities. I also laughed heartily at his article about the lack of political correctness embraced by the local gentry.

Matt Casseday could certainly never be labeled discriminatory; to the contrary, he appears to be more than willing to take a jab at everyone and anyone in this country (including himself) with equal verve. And it is this quality that for me lends to his credibility. The popular knock on satiric literature is that it lampoons the folly of existing situations without offering any viable solutions. I beg to differ. I think Matt has demonstrated a perfectly logical way to navigate contentedly through an illogical and at times frustrating scenario: with humor, and yes, compassion, the all-purpose salves to soothe your emotional wounds. Hey, maybe this gringo isn’t so crazy after all!

Crazy From the Heat is available at the Jaime Peligro book shops in Quepos, Playa Tamarindo and Tilaran.

Welcome and bienvenidos to Quepos and Manuel Antonio. Fishing continues to be very good in our area. A few Marlin, and Sailfish are being released daily with 10 to 15 Sailfish being raised and boats reporting landing 6 to 12 Sails on full day charters. Mahi Mahi are still being boated, some in the 40 lb range. Rooster fish action is good, with several fish being released on our half day charters. Several have been in the 35# to 40# range. Fishing in Quepos is always good year round. Don’t delay! For your fishing adventure contact Luna Tours Sportfishing, our office is located in the Hotel Best Western Kamuk lobby, downtown Quepos central. We own and operate 4 Sport Fishing boats (27 ft to 33 ft) and can also arrange other boats for charter up to 46 ft for half day or full day charters. Contact us at 2777-0725 (office), 8869-4808 (24 hour cell), visit our web site at ww.lunatours.net, or stop by the office for a fishing report, and talk some fishing.

PISCES - February 19-March 20

You will discover a secret about the Spice Girls-most of them can’t tell Cumin from Coriander. In fact some of them are vague about whether Black and Red Pepper come from different plants. You will quite sensibly decide to avoid going to their place for dinner. How did you get that invite by the way? YOUR people are obviously bigger than MY people!

CELEBRITY PISCES: Jack the Ripper

LUCKY SONG: “My Ding a Ling” (who sang that?)

ARIES

You will rest peacefully on the second week of this month and sink into a strange dream. In the dream you will be playing an odd version of soccer with huge clear balloons, and people will be cheering you on from the sidelines, who are dressed in white formal attire. Don’t go into the light, ok? The extra point isn’t worth it.

CELEBRITY ARIES: Tiny Tim

LUCKY SONG: “Lick it Up” (KISS)

TAURUS

In a rather bizarre and unfortunate turn of events today, your lips will go ballistic. Shortly thereafter, your Ziggy Marley accent will kick in. You will be comforted to know that those are simply the first two signs of a “spaz attack”, which is more common than most people realize, and usually non-fatal.

CELEBRITY TAURUS: Paula Rubio

LUCKY SONG: “Great Balls Of Fire” (Jerry Lee Lewis)

GEMINI

Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is LOVE, one is TRUST, one is SHARED PLEASURES, and one is SHARED DREAMS. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you’ll never get rid of that irritating wobble.

This month is also Secret Society Month. Don’t join-no matter how much you like the secret handshake.

CELEBRITY GEMINI: Peter Pan

LUCKY SONG: “Blue Suede Shoes” (Elvis)

CANCER -June 22-July 22

This month you will receive an odd postcard from a long lost relative in Peru. He will invite you to come and explore an ancient Incan ruin which he has discovered. Try not to be too impulsive-a better offer will soon arrive from an old high school friend who is hiding out in a Burmese monestary.

CELEBRITY CANCER: Sam Shepard

LUCKY SONG: “Wasn’t That A Party” (Oakridge Boys)

LEO

You will sneak out one evening this month with a box of papayas under your arm, and grinning an evil toothy grin. When you wake up you will remember nothing about it. However, throughout the day you will find those slimy little black papaya seeds everywhere-your garbage, in your shoes, stuck in your toothbrush. You don’t even like this perfumey fruit-I think this may be a sign to give them another try!

CELEBRITY LEO: Little Red Riding Hood

LUCKY SONG: “Did I Shave My Legs For This” (Deena Carter)

VIRGO

This month is paper airplane month. Have as much fun as you can stand…next month will be ugly. On the positive side, the mythic asteroid Chaeron, in collaboration with the uneasy spirit of Atahualpa (the last Inca King), will act to produce a gastric upset of epic proportions on the 17^th. Keep your chakras clear, and carry some Imodium.

CELEBRITY VIRGO: Gene Simmons

LUCKY SONG: “Poker Face” (Lady Gaga)

LIBRA

Remember that this month 2 wrongs don’t make a right. But 3 do.

I know your requests are being ignored…often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as “Pick up your socks, dear, or DIE SCREAMING.”  It always works for me!

CELEBRITY LIBRA: Hillary Duff

LUCKY SONG: “Get This Party Started” (Pink)

SCORPIO

This is a great month to do unusual things. For starters, stand on a sidewalk, near a tall building, and stare up at the roof. You’ll meet some interesting people that way….it is also a good month to make Mexican Food. Just don’t drink the water! I’m thinking Hot and Spicy Mexican Tortilla Soup with sour cream! YUM!

CELEBRITY SCORPIO: Neil Young

LUCKY SONG: “Stir It Up” (Bob Marley)

SAGITTARIUS

Why did life develop in this fragile boundary between earth and sky? Because life exists at the edge of chaos. You will find that is particularly true this month.

You know that job interview you have? I have an idea…Eat a bunch of Oreos just before, and smile a lot. They will spend their time staring at your teeth that way and not at your resume.

CELEBRITY SAGITTARIUS: Bruce Lee

LUCKY SONG: “Elvira” (Oakridge Boys)

CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19

While cracking your knuckles this month, you will be startled to hear a “ping” sound rather than a “pop”. It really is a bad habit you know, perhaps you should quit the whole thing all together.

CELEBRITY CAPRICORN: Mary J Blige

LUCKY SONG: “Cover of the Rolling Stone” (Dr. Hook)

AQUARIUS

A very pudgy cat will annoy you this month, and inspiration will strike you at the same time, and leave you for dead. The police will do nothing, and the two are not at all related, just a strange turn of events is all.

CELEBRITY AQUARIUS: Diane Lane

LUCKY SONG: Any Wizard of Oz song