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Memoirs of a Masseur – November 2018


I am tired of this world of appearances. Everywhere I look there is a masquerade vying for my time, my energy. From million dollar advertisement agencies to a quick browse on Facebook I feel everything around me is trying to be original. Authenticity however, serves a purpose, it actually provides something of quality and always has results, it is durable and will last the test of time. I am on the never ending search for this state of being. From my family and friends, to my massage work and my travels, all I want is the situation or the person in front of me to be compelling and intriguing. I need excitement in the current moment and it must be permeated with positivity, everything else is the easy way out. This is a lifestyle choice that requires work and is magnetically endearing. Once in that state of being it is hard to look back, it can be quite a struggle to pretend to be enthused when one is utterly bored.

In my Autumn travels away from Manuel Antonio I seek out situations that require strength, I try to figure out what I am afraid of most and then go do it. Who else will test me if I don’t? I’ve been working so long on removing myself from the culture in which I was raised that all I have left are the traps I put myself into. We are all human beings on this planet and with the same anatomical brain, the same two arms and two legs, isn’t it a world of appearances after all? Maybe everything we truly want and become, we are subconsciously trained to do so. Let’s just assume with the enormous constant volume of daily “inputs” it is crucial to find those places that return us to those things that matter most. We must have discipline with ourselves to know what is paramount, then stick to that knowledge and execute. If not, years and years go by and there is no evolution. We can very easily become rats in our own constructed cages, running to nowhere on that hamster wheel. I believe this state is the reason why so many people feel life is stale, that even their own families and their own health aren’t enough to instill a true exultation in everyday living.

With the completion of 2018 just around the corner it is not too early to begin our evolution once more. We will climb out of our cages and seek out the light which is all around us. With humility and kindness, combined with discipline and endeavors, we can become what we dream of. That higher state of mind may have been abandoned in the post college years, or when Mommy and Daddy finally released us from their umbrella and it was time to go to work. I see the ability in all of us to first surrender to ourselves and then be clear on what we want next year. Day by day, unravel the “appearances” that you may live with. When we become authentic in our speech and our actions we become magnets to society around us. I can actually feel this energy as a body worker of twenty years. It is our obligation because of our existence to become the best person we can be first for ourselves, then to our loved ones and then society around us. Everything else is trivial. When we live out of our personal comfort zones only then can we shed our own skins and evolve.

(Todd can be reached at 8830-7727 or at tpequeen@yahoo.com. He was the first male massage therapist in M.A. and has been providing deep, therapeutic sessions since 2000. His free time is spent reading, writing, traveling, and surfing.)


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